I’m in Melbourne. It’s the end of Day 4 of approximately 150. Things are pretty darn groovy.

There’s a possum called Randall in the tree outside my new home. It stared us in the face for three seconds, then scurried away out of sight. Floor 3, where I live, is silent during the day: doors closed and kitchens empty, it’s a little like The Shining but with better décor. If that’s unfair, I hasten to add that I really like this hall and have never actually seen The Shining. (I have, however, seen 30 Seconds to Mars’ video for their song The Kill, which, though debatably not quite as classic, runs along the same vein.) I have yet to discover who lives in room 237 of these cold and silent corridors.

The action begins in the evening. Most native Australian animals are nocturnal, and the same can be said for the students, much like at home. It’s Orientation Week. The first night was Christmas dinner - I’m not sure why, but the Australians of my hall have now experienced, as I do each year, Christmas in winter. Throughout the week are a variety of parties, including tonight's Mystery Bus which careered towards Richmond while we danced precariously within. After each event, people flood to the Games Room for truth or dare Jenga, 90s movies, and goon: a very good word for very bad wine, housed inside a pillow-sized metallic bag which ripples invitingly like a waterbed. I earned cool points on my first night for downing a jar of pasta sauce, and lost absolutely none, unlike sometimes in the UK, for not getting drunk.

There is a sign in the corridor warning us to watch our feet in case of snakes. It’s late at night and the frogs (I think) are croaking. Jetlag has not struck. It seems to have passed me by.

Because the news has a horrible habit of being awful,  particularly recently, I've decided this blog needs to post some good news. No news is good news, but news can be good news too – just call me Russell Howard. So, if anyone else read the papers on the 15^th, you’ll have read that they’ve made new waves towards establishing just what is the new black. And the answer: black is the new black. Vantablack nanofabric is the blackest material yet. It lets in only 0.035% of light – a 0.005% improvement on previous records. If you wore clothes made of this material, you would look like a floating 3D head and limbs with a two-dimensional body. Who wants one? I want one. Sadly, only astronauts and soldiers will get some, but maybe one day I can buy an invisibility cloak?

• Aussies joke about things Brits gasp at. I'm too British to give examples, I'm afraid. The humour's dark here.
• There are these sweets called Red Frogs which get handed out at all on-campus parties. They’re my new favourite thing. The UK should have Red Frogs.
• You don't chug or down your drink here. You skull it. Allegedly the word "grog" is also actually used here, though I haven't heard anyone say it. I live in hope. I approve wholeheartedly of all these piratical undertones.

It's late. Fare thee well, chumsters.